When You Feel Like You’re at the End of Your Rope
If you’re reading this, you’re probably in a place where things feel impossibly hard. Maybe you’re bedridden. Maybe you feel like you’re losing pieces of yourself every single day.
I’ve been there.
At my worst, I couldn’t turn over in bed without crashing. I couldn’t walk. Couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t laugh.
But even when everything felt like it was falling apart, there was one thing that helped me stay grounded.
I wrote letters.
Not to other people,
To my future self.
How Journaling Became My Lifeline
I kept a small journal by my bed. Inside were my darkest thoughts, my biggest dreams, my frustrations, my hopes, and my fears.
At first, I just needed somewhere to put my thoughts because they were overwhelming.
But over time, something started to shift.
These entries became a map,
A map of where I was and where I wanted to go.
And most importantly, they gave me a reason to believe there was still a future ahead of me, even when I couldn’t see it yet.
A Real Letter From the Darkest Chapter
Here’s a letter I wrote on August 19, 2017, during one of the hardest nights of my life:
You are so lucky, Miguel.
You don’t even realize the amount of things you can do right now.
I would do anything just to go for a slow walk outside, to look at the sky and smell the fresh air.
Right now I can’t even get out of bed. Heck, I can barely make it through the day lying in bed.
I miss being able to laugh. I wish I could hug my girlfriend.
I cry every day because I just want to be normal again.
Whatever mess I’m in right now, I’ll get out of it.
But for now, go do something you love. Do it for me.
Please don’t forget how lucky you are to be living your life.
That letter was a moment of surrender, but also a quiet promise to myself.
Reading it back years later, now that I’ve fully recovered, still gives me chills.
Why Writing Letters to Yourself Works
This isn’t just a mental exercise. It’s a powerful healing tool that works on many levels.
Here’s why:
1. It gives you a safe place to unload.
When you’re stuck in bed or isolated, your mind can feel like a cage. Writing lets you release some of that pressure.
2. It keeps hope alive.
Even if you don’t fully believe you’ll get better, writing as if you will gives you something to hold on to.
3. It becomes your record of strength.
Later, when you’re healing or have fully recovered, these letters will show you just how far you’ve come.
You Might Be Closer Than You Think
When I was three months out of the hospital, I thought I had made it.
I thought I was done.
But I wasn’t even halfway.
There’s a strange part of recovery that no one talks about. You don’t know where you are in the story while you’re living it.
What felt like the final chapter of my life turned out to be the last page of a much bigger book.
A new chapter was waiting,
One I hadn’t even imagined yet.
Your Old Self Might Be Gone. But That’s Not a Bad Thing.
Honestly, I feel like the old version of me died when I got sick.
The version of me that was always pushing, stressing, trying to prove myself.
That guy didn’t survive the crash.
But something better came from it.
A new version of me was born.
These letters?
They’re like messages from my old self to the new one. And I’ll always be grateful I wrote them.
What to Write If You’re Not Sure Where to Start
If you’ve never written to your future self before, here’s what I recommend:
- Write about the things you miss.
Be honest. Say it all. It’s okay to mourn what you’ve lost. - Visualize your future in detail.
What does the air smell like? Who are you with? What are you doing? The more detailed, the better. - Talk to your future self with love.
Encourage them. Tell them to enjoy their freedom. Thank them for not giving up.
Even if you only write one letter, it can still change your life.
The Mindset That Got You Sick Can’t Be the One That Heals You
This was something I learned the hard way.
The go-go-go, perfectionist, burnout-prone mindset that pushed me into illness couldn’t get me out of it.
Recovery required a different mindset.
One with patience, compassion, surrender, and trust.
That shift didn’t happen overnight.
But writing helped me begin that transformation.
Final Thoughts
If you’re struggling today, I want you to know:
You’re not stuck. You’re just in a chapter.
And chapters end.
Write to your future self.
Visualize them smiling, walking, laughing, breathing in fresh air.
Even if it feels impossible, especially if it feels impossible, write it anyway.
One day, that letter might be the exact reminder you need.
And when you read it from the other side, it will hit you.
You did it.
You made it.
Want More Recovery Insights?
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Stay strong,
Miguel