🧠The Truth About Nervous System Regulation: It’s Not About Avoiding Stress
When you’re recovering from chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) or long COVID, you might hear a lot about calming your nervous system. People talk about breathwork, meditation, or self-care days as if they’re the ultimate fix. But here’s the truth:
Healing isn’t about avoiding stress—it’s about learning to handle it better.
Why “Avoid Stress” Isn’t the Real Answer
It’s common to think that if you can just stay calm, meditate more, or take enough breaks, you’ll heal faster. But life doesn’t stop being stressful, and people won’t suddenly stop upsetting you.
So the real question becomes:
Can your nervous system handle life’s normal ups and downs without crashing?
That’s what recovery is really about—building capacity. It means raising the amount of stress your body and mind can tolerate without going into panic or shutdown mode.
Think of Your Nervous System Like a Cup
Let’s use a simple visual:
Imagine your current capacity for stress is the size of a tiny cup. Even a few drops of stress—an unexpected call, a bad night’s sleep—overflows it. You feel anxious, overwhelmed, and stuck.
Now imagine growing that cup over time. It doesn’t mean stress disappears. But it means more can happen without overwhelming you.
That’s what we’re aiming for in recovery:
🟢 Less reactivity.
🟢 More steadiness.
🟢 A stronger, calmer you—even in the middle of life’s chaos.
What It Really Means to Build Capacity
When you build capacity, you aren’t avoiding emotions like frustration, fear, or sadness. You’re learning to:
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Sit with discomfort instead of reacting to it.
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Notice emotions without letting them spiral.
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Pause before responding.
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Challenge automatic reactions like avoidance or snapping.
For example:
Instead of panicking during a symptom flare, you might say,
🗣 “This is uncomfortable, but I can handle this. I don’t need to fix it right now.”
Why This Matters for CFS and Long COVID Recovery
When your nervous system is hypersensitive, even little things feel big. A small noise, a bit of stress, or even a positive event can trigger an adrenaline spike or crash.
But if you slowly build your ability to sit with these moments without reacting, you’re training your body to feel safe again.
And over time, those same triggers?
They won’t shake you as much.
How to Start Building Nervous System Strength (Gently)
Here are three small, practical ways to build capacity in daily life:
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Pause instead of reacting
Next time you feel overwhelmed, pause. Take one slow breath. Notice the emotion instead of acting on it. -
Sit with discomfort—just a little
Feeling uncomfortable? Try staying with it for 30 more seconds. Then 1 minute. Then longer. It gets easier. -
Reframe stress
Instead of thinking, “This is bad,” try,
“This is a chance for me to grow stronger.”
You’re not weak for feeling overwhelmed. You’re just learning how to grow your nervous system’s muscle—one moment at a time.
Final Thoughts
Your goal is not to avoid stress, but to expand your ability to handle it.
It’s not about being perfectly calm all the time.
It’s about being okay even when things aren’t perfect.
👉 Because when your nervous system gets stronger, you get your life back.