How to Handle Toxic People and Relationships During Your Recovery
Why Toxic People Matter When You’re Recovering
If you have toxic people or toxic relationships in your life right now, and you have the power to cut them off, it’s okay to do so. These people may be adding stress and making recovery harder—especially for those living with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) or long COVID.
Toxic doesn’t mean perfect or bad people. It means those who cause more stress than support. When you’re dealing with a hypersensitive nervous system, even small amounts of stress can trigger symptoms or crashes.
My Story: Stress from Loved Ones
During my own recovery, my mom was one of the biggest sources of stress. She didn’t understand how sick I was. Since my tests were normal, she thought I just needed to think positively and “get better.” This caused a lot of frustration and made my symptoms worse.
I realized that sometimes, you have to be mentally selfish. You have to protect your peace by not letting stressful words or actions affect you. If people say things that trigger stress, learn to let it go—in one ear and out the other. If you can, avoid being around those people until you’re stronger.
People Pleasers, Listen Up
Many people with CFS are natural people pleasers and type-A personalities. We tend to put others before ourselves, sometimes ignoring our own health to meet expectations.
Now is the time to be selfish—to prioritize your own mental and physical health above all else. It’s not selfish to protect your recovery. It’s necessary.
Managing Expectations: When Others Don’t Understand
It’s common to expect family or friends to understand what you’re going through. When they don’t, it can hurt deeply. I remember feeling alone when friends made light of my illness or gave advice I already tried.
You might snap or feel triggered by small things. That’s normal. CFS can cause mood swings and irritability. Remember, sometimes your perception is stronger than the reality. Try to be gentle with yourself and others.
What To Do About Toxic People and Relationships
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If you can, cut toxic people out completely for now. You don’t need extra stress in your life.
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If you can’t avoid them, learn to protect your mind. Let their words go in one ear and out the other.
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Set clear boundaries. It’s okay to say no to visits or conversations that cause stress.
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Surround yourself with supportive people who understand and believe you. This community can be a safe place during your recovery.
The Power of Being Ruthless—For Now
Recovery is about removing stressors. Toxic people add to your nervous system overload and make adjustment periods longer and worse. You need to be ruthless about protecting your peace. That means putting your health first, even if it feels hard.
Later, once you’re stronger, you can decide if and how to reconnect with those people. But for now, your healing is the priority.
A Chance to Level Up Your Life
One community member said:
“We are here for a reason because of imbalance we caused ourselves. This is our chance to set the record straight, change our lives for the better, be present and do the work.”
Whether you caused your illness or it came from outside, the power lies in what you do next. Recovery forces many of us to level up—our mindset, how we handle stress, and how we live.
Final Thoughts
Toxic relationships can seriously slow down your recovery. It’s okay to cut ties or build mental walls to protect yourself. Surround yourself with people who support you and understand your journey.
If you want to connect with a community that truly gets it, consider joining the Recovery Jumpstart program. We help you create a clear, manageable plan and walk alongside you with support.
Remember the golden rule in recovery: your success depends on how well you respond to symptoms. Protect your peace, respond calmly, and keep moving forward.
You are a thriver, just one mind shift away from thriving health.